1. Begin your relationship with a purpose
Healthy relationship: First, research suggests that there may be some truth in the phrase “start and if you want to continue” when it comes to relationships.
Recent studies suggest that, in many cases, people who are dating end up “falling” into a relationship compromised by a sense of inertia, and couples may end up living together even when they are not sure if they belong together.
“[M] anyone, if not the majority, couples move from non-cohabitation to cohabitation before fully realizing what is happening; It is often a non-deliberative and incremental process, ”researchers at the University of Denver in Colorado report.
For example, someone may end up deciding to move and eventually marry their partner simply because they have already spent a significant amount of time together and have established a bond.
This may happen, argue dating and relationship researchers Samantha Joel, PhDs and Professor Paul Eastwick, even when one or both partners are convinced, at the beginning of their relationship, that they do not necessarily adapt to each other.
Medical News Today spoke with Alex Psaila, clinical supervisor of Relate North and South West Sussex, a charity registered in the United Kingdom that provides support and mediation in relationships. We asked about the first “red flags” that people may want to remember when starting a new relationship.
Blind love, he told us, can prevent people from recognizing possible problems and personality clashes. It can also make you think that, no matter how annoying some of your new partner’s behaviours maybe, this probably changes over time. Not so, said Psaila:
2. Communicate to resolve conflicts
As with anything, open communication is necessary when it comes to building and maintaining a good healthy relationship.
And in a long-term relationship, calm, open and constructive communication is essential when it comes to resolving a conflict since no interpersonal link is really free of the conflict.
“Stress can arise in good healthy relationships when partners experience conflicting goals, motives and preferences,” professors Nickola Overall and James McNulty write in a recent study on communication during conflict.
The possible reasons for conflict in a romantic relationship can vary widely, and Professors General and McNulty cite unmet expectations, financial difficulties, distribution of responsibilities, parenting styles and jealousy, among others.
“Unresolved conflicts and the stress associated with the conflict put even the most satisfactory healthy relationship at risk. In addition, managing and resolving conflicts are difficult and can be an important source of stress, ”they say.
So what is the best way to communicate when it comes to resolving conflicts in an intimate relationship?
According to the researchers, it depends. However, burying one’s feelings and misgivings and brushing up disagreements quickly under the carpet is unlikely to help, they say.
Professors Overall and McNulty suggest that it is crucial that couples first evaluate the context in which the conflict has arisen to decide the best way to address it.
When a serious problem is at stake, the researchers explain, it is important that both partners express their opposing views and negotiate the direction of the change.
However, if the couple is having disagreements about minor problems or matters beyond their control, it may be more useful for them to recognize the problem but express mutual validation, affection and forgiveness.
Psaila expressed a perspective similar to MNT. People who maintain healthy and happy relationships, he says, “ask for forgiveness and repair [when they recognize that they have done something hurtful].”
However, Psaila adds, “they do not cling to secret and hidden shame,” after a discordant situation.
3. Spend time with partner activities.
Life can sometimes interfere with the time we spend with the people we love, even when we share a living space. Work demands, for example, can leave us little time, and sometimes little energy, to do something nice with our partners.
However, research shows that couples who participate together in fun activities may also find it easier to stay together.
For example, a study covered at MNT last year suggested that couples who make time to play board games together also had a good quality love life.
The study found a simple reason for this correlation: the partners who participated together in these fun activities saw an increase in oxytocin, the “love hormone”, named because it plays a key role in binding behaviours.
Karen Melton, PhD, and colleagues, who conducted the study of board games, point out that, for a couple’s activity to lead to increased oxytocin, it should probably involve interaction between couples.
Simply attending an event together but not interacting, for example, may not have the same binding effect.
Food to go? Doing fun things, ideally in new and unknown environments, could help maintain the quality of the relationship.
4. Don’t make choices out of fear:
So many times people either choose a partner or stay out of some kind of fear, mainly with someone in an unhappy relationship. Usually this, fear is alone but the fear can vary widely from one person to another. It is better to be alone and wait for the right person so that he can decide without fear. Deciding over fear leads to confusion, anxiety and a general feeling of something happening.
5. Give people a chance that you normally wouldn’t give a chance to:
If I had a penny for someone every time, who told me they were not going to go out with anyone because they were not their “type”, I’d be a rich woman! Remember attraction can make you grow more to know a person and their personality. Some people take too long to know this and do not wear their hearts on their sleeves. The water is still deep and you may not get a chance to find out if you don’t take the time to get to know someone.
6. Take Care of Yourself
No one is a good partner if they’re stressed out and unhappy. Make sure you take the time for yourself to stay healthy. Eat right, exercise, do yoga, and take alone time when you need it. The better you feel about yourself, the more you’re going to be able to give to your relationship.
7. Let’s Talk About Sex.
I am talking about a marriage relationship. I don’t believe in giving a boyfriend everything that belongs to a husband. I am not judging you if it is you and I am guilty of doing it myself with people who are not husbands. On my journey to fullness and self-esteem, I personally do not sell myself again shortly by giving my body to a man before we both decide that we will be together as married people.
I’ve been there and done that and I’m not interested in becoming “one flesh” with someone who is not meant for me anymore. Going back to my original statement: it’s really simple. Having a lot of sex Did you know that God wants you to have a pleasant and pleasant sexual life in marriage? Good is true. He encourages sex often. I mean…. Seriously, have fun! Turn off the television and turn on that 90’s R&B.
8. Take a cue a couple of days away from each othe for
Giving himself the opportunity to miss himself again. If that means spending time with the family or going on a weekend trip alone, then do it! You want to create a space for both to miss each other.
9. Talk Openly About Your Needs
Honesty does not just mean who you are or what you are thinking. This also applies to conversations that are bound by what you and your partner need from each other.
Sometimes, we are afraid to speak for ourselves. People shy away from saying what they really feel because they don’t want to pressure their partner or come across as “high maintenance”.
The thing is, these are just the stories we tell ourselves. This is another type of barrier worth breaking in your relationship, which you can only do by speaking openly about your needs. When they are not meeting expectations, do not be afraid to confront your partner, but always do so in a healthy, sensible manner.
10. Understand When to Give Each Other Space
Presuming a need worth recognizing in a practical relationship: space.
Many couples want to be together all the time, especially at the beginning. They make more plans with their partner than with their friends or family, sometimes completely neglecting to spend time with others. But, there has to be a balance.
You need space to be yourself without your partner from time to time, and they do too. This allows each of you to maintain your other healthy relationships and practice personal care, both practices are incredibly important for your intimate relationship.
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